“Your Papers Are Not In Order”

Both job opportunities in Sarasota fell through, and the third in Tampa isn’t returning my calls, or my numerous frantic emails.
For those following along with the “Play At Home” game, an old joke comes to mind. “What do you call a busload of lawyers going over a bridge?”
“A good start.”
For me, the same thing could be said about HR hiring managers. We have created in this country the ultimate oligarch position, that of gatekeeper to getting or finding a job. There is one opening, yet the average HR manager will interview thirty or forty candidates before settling on one.
In truth, they are there to PREVENT you from getting a job. Yes, I have limited certified qualifications. I’m in front of you. I’m ready to work. I have NEVER been arrested. I’ll pass any drug test you put in front of me.
Just with those three, I’m ahead of 70% of the population…but it still isnt enough.
If the job becomes vacant within a year, it was obviously the WRONG one. IF you own a business with more than twenty employees, and it takes your HR staffer more than a day to fill a vacancy, fire them. Hire the next person to walk through the door. They may not have all the qualifications, but they’ll be a damned sight more grateful…and loyal.
Radio buddy Chuck Igo passed along a posting from Journalism Jobs for a gig here. I sent in my resume, and got an email back. They’ve already focused on two candidates, but remarked I had the oddest cover letter they had ever seen. They want to talk tomorrow about some possible freelance work.
Sometimes, it pays to be odd.
I’m sitting at the local Labor Ready franchise, hoping to get re-registered today and get some day work. Later when it comes to find a place to sleep, I’ll have to drop back five yards and punt.
Coffee, it is my friend.

Last night, I ended up crashing behind another LR type franchise, waiting for them to open. When I finally got in, the dude confessed that he din’t have much work, and that half the guys sitting there were not likely to get out today.
More words about the Florida state bird, the mosquito. These smart ones seem to have found the perfect spot for biting, that area just above the cleft of your ass. That single spot inflicts more itching than anything I’ve ever seen before. They seem to have bitten me all along the sweat-line of the frame pack.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep trudging along, hoping to find a gig. Hat Tip to Rebecca for sending me a Dunkies gift card.
I’ve even started looking at the local shelters. I don’t WANT to do this, but the reality of getting by on a few hours or less a night is starting to zombie out my face a bit. I’d take a pic, but it’s too close to Halloween to be frightening the children.
No lizards last night, but a feral cat did wander up to the tiny area behind the labor place that I had crashed. Seems even feral cats know cat people. She got some slim-jims.
Today’s hat tips to the folks at Guy Force Cycle in Bradenton that let me charge up my laptop and phone for a half hour. I’ll be asking Jason Grimes of Northeast Chop Shop to buy these guys a few beers at bike week.
UPDATE: The newspaper job already has two candidates in mind…and there is no way to get there. Labor Ready was a bust, seems the fine folks at the Portland location managed to FUCK UP MY PAPERWORK. Yes, I’m partially in the system…but not enough to get dispatched.
Of note: There is nobody in the state of Florida that will employ you without a copy of your Birth Certificate. I had one with me, but now its among the missing items. Damn pixies. In a state obsessed with birtherism, you’d thing a drivers license, a state ID, a passport and an immunization record would be enough. NOPE. They nned to see an “original” copy of your BC…begging the question.
Coming to the end of my rope, and my patience.


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